This tearjerker comes in at 19 minutes and 17 seconds

Stewart Lee was awarded 8 Adams & The Wolfs:

Meanwhile, David O’Doherty won out, with 8.5.  Why not get yourself an extra dose of D. O’Doherty?

To discover everything you need to know about Les Enfants Terribles, check out their website right here.

I am happy to announce that Episode 12 (the final episode) of Adam & The Wolf has been completed.  Every silver, however, has a cloudy lining, and the lining of this precious metal podcast is the breakdown of the Wolf’s internet.  As soon as the internet is fixed, you will have your healthy helping of joy.

We understand how distressing this must be for you, but we hope that (with appropriate self-medication) you will be able to remain calm.

Yours Regretfully,

Adam & The Wolf

Adam & The Wolf spend a whole day guffawing (aided by The Oxford Imps, Kieran and the Joes, Bane & New Art Club).  Will there be medical consequences?

This guffaw resounds for 14 minutes and 42 seconds.

Head over here to refresh your memory of our Arj Barker interview.

Big Bag of Boom grabbed 8.5.  Grab the extended interview here!

Success: A Success Story nabbed 8 Adams and Wolfs:

and Bane obtained 8.75:

Put on the hob and simmer for 15 minutes and 2 seconds.

Octavia scored 6 Adams and Wolfs:

while The Bench was rated using a new system (currently on trial) named ‘Salmaans and the Lebovitses’ – obtaining 6:

Pictorial Representation Pending Approval from the Adam & The Wolf Foundation for Objectivity

Can you handle 17 minutes and 47 seconds of Adam & The Wolf?

You’re Not Like The Other Girls Chrissy scored 8 Adams and Wolfs:

Penny Dreadfuls obtained 7:

Wit Tank achieved 6.75:

and Terrible Tales garnered 7.75

This episode is worth 10 minutes and 6 seconds of your time.

Free Fringe comedy scored 2.5 Adams & Wolfs:

while The (free) Body scored 1.5:

Meanwhile, Simon Callow collected 7.5:

as did John-Luke Roberts (interview):

Dunk this audio biscuit in your mp3 tea for 14 minutes and 10 seconds.

For a full review of Keepers, have a peek at Episode 6

Kafka & Son (interview), at the Bedlam Theatre, scored 5.5 Adams & The Wolfs.:

* all photographs of Kafka & Son are taken by Cylla von Tiedemann

Today, Adam & David’s combined temporal worth is 11 minutes and 40 seconds.

Long Live The King, at Assembly George Street, scored a straight 7:

Keepers got hold of an impressive 8.75 Adams and Wolfs:

This time trial was clocked at 13 minutes and 12 seconds.

Why not download the extended Pedal Pusher interview?

Pedal Pusher breaks long held records to achieve 9.5 Adams & Wolfs:

Pedal Pusher is on at the Zoo Roxy until August 30.

Would you permit us, respectful as we are towards you and your profession, to point out that your star, which once shone so brightly, has dimmed?

The problem is not your ideas, but the ultimate tool of evaluation at your disposal: the five star system. Stars are most readily associated with great balls of burning gas. Is that really what you wish to associate with humanity’s finest achievements? If your answer is anything but “dear God, deliver me from the tyranny of the star system!” you are beneath contempt.

Fortunately God has provided another way: our way. The system we propose is a radical break with the past, a paradigm shift in the field of arts criticism which raises questions across swathes of interelated fields such as microfinance and global governance.  Developed over a number of decades and rigorously tested in certain laboratories, we have created a fully objective tool for rating artistic merit. It looks something like this:

The ratings system is known as “Adams and the Wolfs”. At its core lies the idea that art is most accurately rated by a duo, rather than individuals. Those two individuals should be us. The system works as follows:

• Adam Levy is allotted a maximum of five “Adams” with which he expresses his affection or distaste for any given work of art.
• David Wolf is allotted a maximum of five “Wolfs” with which he communicates his admiration or scorn for any given work of art.
• The Adams and Wolfs are then combined, to provide a score out of 10. A higher number of Adams and the Wolfs indicates that the artwork in question is objectively good, a lower number of Adams and the Wolfs proves that the piece is worthless.

The beauty of the system is its simplicity, its aesthetic merit and, most importantly, that its verdict is objective, final, and better than yours.

We humbly suggest that if you wish to salvage your reputation as both critic and human being, you save yourself from the mire of the star system. We are throwing you a life jacket and life won’t give you a second chance.

Yours respectfully,

Adam Levy and David Wolf

This suspicious, unattended package weighs in at 16 minutes and 28 seconds.

Doc Brown is performing his stand-up show, Unfamous, as well as featuring in the new musical, Gutted.

Meanwhile, John-Luke Roberts Distracts You From A Murder.

* Adam & The Wolf offer no guarantees that this analysis will ever take place.

Why not download this 11 minute, 34 second audio nugget?!

Richard Herring’s Christ On a Bike is rated 6.5:

while Ovid’s Metamorphoses scores 7.25:

Podcast duration: 15 minutes 18 seconds.

Get your grubby mittens on the mp3 here!

Arj Barker is performing at the Assembly Rooms until 29 August.

Five Guys Named Moe is on at the Udderbelly’s Pasture.

Beautiful Burnout is on at the Pleasance Courtyard.

I have done no research other than repeatedly glare at his enlarged poster-ized face, but I believe Sloss-bucket is a comedian who went into comedy after being rejected by numerous girls and a boyband recruiting agent.  The trouble is, he’s just not funny.  I imagine.

I may be reading too much into it (though I doubt it), but Sloss-face’s poster screams: “Look daddy – I’m famous, successful, and handsome.  Please look!”.  Well Daddy isn’t going to look Danny.  Because daddy doesn’t love you.  And neither do I.

Daddy still doesn’t love you Danny, but he doesn’t hate you either (who is your daddy?).  He’s just bored of the sight of you.  And he’s gunna kick you once more for good luck (I’m your daddy).

- Adam

Download this episode for your iPod!